My Empty Nest?

One year ago this week, my baby got married and moved to the Houston area. So finally it is time to write about that bittersweet time.

Dana wasn't my first child to leave home. I had been through the process twice before. Jenni moved out when she started college. She went to school here in San Angelo, but she moved into an apartment with a friend. Melynda left when she started college and moved into the dorm at Hardin-Simmons University. But Dana stayed home during college. Why not? She pretty much had her side of the house to herself, didn't have to share a bathroom with two sisters anymore, and Mom was there to feed her. And I think that is part of what made the difference. She was home during a time when the parent/child roles begin to change.

It is during the college years that moms cease being so much the disciplinarian/teacher/authority figure and start becoming more of a friend/confidant/sounding board. I experienced this with all three of my girls, but with Dana it was a little more. Probably it was because we had more opportunity to do things together. We went shopping (at the mall, online, it didn't matter), we watched chick flicks together (and talked about all sorts of issues), we got hooked on the same books (Christian fiction by Karen Kingsbury). We shared so many more experiences together, life experiences that pull you close.

So as wedding plans became reality, and Dana's room became stacked with moving boxes, the emotion began to mount. Kerry and I talked about it alot, how excited we were for Dana, how nice it would be to have the house to ourselves, all the familiar "empty nest" talk. We also talked about how hard it would be to adjust to having the house to ourselves, to not having Dana there to banter opinions back and forth, to not having someone around to double-check our fashion conscience!

As April 14, 2007, dawned, it was a bittersweet day. I was so excited for Dana & Levi. They had been together for a long time...much of that time he was at Oklahoma State and later flying for the airlines, and she was here at home finishing up her education. Finally they were going to be together...no more 9pm phone calls, no more waiting for those weekends when he could come home, no more having to say good-bye. They would be able to be together, to build a home together, and meld their two lives into one.

But my baby was leaving home! Who was I going to watch One Tree Hill and Gilmore Girls with? Who was I going to share Christmas and birthday secrets with? Who was I going to carry on long conversations with in the afternoon while the grandkids napped and she had the afternoon off? I was really going to miss her! And she was moving seven hours away! I couldn't just hop in the car and go see her; and she couldn't just hop in the car and come home. Thank goodness for e-mails and unlimited minutes on the cell phone!

It took several months for me to adjust. Sometimes we would be driving home from church and decide to go eat...I would have the strongest urge to call Dana and see if she wanted to meet us or if she wanted us to bring her something. I would often stand in the doorway of her room and sigh. Shopping trips to Target and Hobby Lobby were boring. It's not that I didn't have anything to do...I had plenty to do. I just didn't have someone around to share that part of my life with anymore. (Kerry isn't too keen on watching chick flicks or going to Hobby Lobby to look at scrapbooking supplies!) But as the months passed, I got used to her absence.

Now I look forward to her visits...love it when she stays with us...tolerate it when they take their turn staying with the Sleepers! Watching her and Levi enjoying their life together makes it all worthwhile. After all, that was my job...raise her, teach her, mentor her, support her...then send her out to be her own person. And while I have an "empty nest", there's still enough activity with kids and grandkids in and out of it that it's not so bad.

And I hang on to one little thing that makes me feel a connection with Dana...I still watch One Tree Hill!